That's my dad...

This post is not what you are thinking it will be. I will not be describing dad, as in "that's my dad!". Once upon a time, long before caller ID numerical or auditory, I used to be able to tell if it was dad calling. Not everytime but often times when he called I knew before I picked up it was him. It used to creep out my boyfriend at the time..."ring", "that's my dad".... "hi dad". How did you know?. Usually I knew before the phone rang that he would be calling soon. Then I had a mess of kids to distract me and dad and I had a kind of understanding that we would speak on Sunday afternoons so the second sense went away and that odd telephone voice saying BOKEMUN RAYmund took it's place. Well a few days ago the phone rang in the morning and I thought "it's dad" for the first time in ages. Of course it wasn't, it was probably a telemarketer. I don't know why I am even telling anybody about it except it was a very sweet 2 seconds in my life post Ray. I have also been giving a lot of thought lately to how I can enrich people's lives around me the way dad enriched peoples lives around him. Even when he just gave a big encouraging smile or a little hug it meant something. He inspired people and lifted hearts all around him... . ahhhhhhhhhhh those are big shoes. Robert the blog has been invaluable to me. I will write more on it later.

ps I can't find any of my digital photos of Dad!!!! the puppies were a place holder but I can't figure out how to delete them. Dad would have liked them anyway.

Miss ya, Dad!
::hugs::
:)

UGGGGG Rob the pics seem like there of someone else. Dad didn't seem like he was dieing just his body not his mind(still funny still sharp and strong till the last hours),thank god is the the best thing to say.Thank God we all made it down to see him off all but the last was a joy.As for the blog its a mixed blessing for me like Reachle says its dads final resting place some where we all can visit let him know whats up ,we miss him. But its all ways a reminder hes dead ,every time I come hear I am reminded I will not see him in this life and that's the bitter pill.

On a more positive note every things is going well Adem is back and is a joy to have around . Anvil has proubly past me up in hieght and has been spending a lot of time helping his grandparnts out this sumer. Atlas is all Boeckmann he wants to fish all the time and screams fish ,fish ,I want to fish any time he sees any water. Archer looks a lot like dad did in his baby pics and is a real blessing and brings joy to my hart.

Help?

Folks I've resisted doing this for a long time. However as a research psychologist and a person who wants to help others in the world... I've been wondering if any of you have felt as though this blog has been helpful in the grieving process.
I have done a bit of reading on the subject and there is not a lot of research on the subject of computer mediated grieving. I am thinking I might find a graduate student who is interested in doing some research with me and put him or her onto researching this subject. We have a new cancer ward across the street from the university now and so tragically there will be a supply of families like ourselves facing the loss of a loved one. However that represents an opportunity to learn from them about how a blog like ours might help families in the future.
Please post any comments / thoughts you have on how this blog may (or may not) have helped in anyway. If you can mention anything specific that is more helpful to me with my scientist hat on.
Love to you all. I just talked to Becky today and it made me cry thinking of those final days and how much I miss him.

Happy Father's Day

Just Happy Father's Day
I miss you. I'm thankful for the love you shared with me and the lessons you taught me about being a good father and a good person. I will do my best to honor your memory by walking those lessons into my life and into the next with integrity and heartfelt conviction.
hugs Robert

Father's Day around the corner...

Well...it's that time of year again.
And since I'm not a Mom yet (ie: I have no father of my children to celebrate)...my Father's Day revolves solely around Dad.
UGH!

Still as bittersweet as always. I miss him dearly and keep catching myself in eminent tears in reaction to some of the most random things. Okay, so those moments seem completely random to perfect strangers...but they're not as random as you might think.

Picking blackberries, making apple pies, walking along a river that looks like the Buffalo...biting into a juicy piece of watermellon (did you know that during his last year, he couldn't get enough of the stuff?), hearing some CCR on the radio, seeing kids run up and jump into their Dad's arms...heck, even the At&t commericals are starting to get to me on occassion.

I'm not 'sad' anymore. Well, yes I am...but you know. It's that whole 'can't do anything about it so don't dwell on what could have been' mentality. I'm trying to be more optimistic and positive about what he left us with now-a-days.

Because of the impact he made on my life...
I know that when I have kids, you'd better be damn sure:
*that they're going to spend plenty of weekends camping or canoeing...
*that they'll get pancake breakfasts and bisquits and gravy on a whim...
*that they won't be spoiled, but know that they are loved and not afraid of hard work to earn a living...
*that they'll know how to drive a stick-shift and change their tires before getting their license on the open road...
*that they'll know how to swim by the time (if not before) they can walk!
*that they won't be afraid of adventure! And know the value of a single day
*that they'll know what fireflies are and catch a few in their lifetime (we don't have 'em in CA, unfortunately..but there will be vacations back East, I'm sure :)
*that they'll understand kindness and patience with every soul on this earth. Children, Adults, Animals...and bugs. There's no reason to smash it if it's not a danger...let it live it's life. You can't see the big picture from here
*that they'll always be willing to help a friend (and safely help strangers) simply to feel the warmth of a good heart- no 'reward' required.

I could go on and on and on and on.

Thanks for being my Dad, Dad.

And thanks to all of you guys for helping me carry on his legacy. I'm proud to call you family :)


OH! I almost forgot...
I know it might seem silly to get Dad a Father's Day present when, well...you know...
But....
http://www.heifer.org/card2.asp?icard=nlKTI6PPJdLULePOJaLZIjNVJeLZJfMWKxE

Dad,
There's some bunnies, chickens, and a grove of trees out there in your honor now; feeding, providing shelter & encouraging education for some deserving kids. I figure that's better than a fruit basket, eh? :)