My boy's all grown up graduation 08

Adem will be graduating May twenty second .Within a month of his graduation he will start a pre med camp in Anchorage. Adem has done the family proud and it has been a joy to watch him grow into a young man. I will miss him something fierce but hope the adventures he uncovers will more than make up for the empty spot in our lives.

never settle for anything less then your best, dad didn't have to say it he lived it

I'm still here :)

Hi ya guys...
Been a long time.
I'm still without internet but finally managed to get a library card and a few minutes to catch up on things.

I kept telling Dad, when he was in the hospital, that I'd be okay...but that I'd miss him something fierce. And that I do.
It's been rough these past few weeks with so many changes going on in my life...and I can't help but feel that it'd be just a little bit easier if he were there to give me the fatherly advice that he always has.

My Birthday came and went as it always does...the only real impact this year was that he wasn't here to sing 'Happy Birthday.'
Dana pitched in and did her best impression though- :)

So. I love you guys. I miss you ALL something fierce and hope to be able to spend some quality time catching up with everyone soon.
In the meantime: Be good. Eat your vegtables. And don't forget to count your blessings :)


PS: I've always thought Dad was so very Harrison Ford, albeit much more handsome. I had a huge crush on 'Indiana Jones' when I was a kid...until I saw a pic of our young beardless Dad...AHHH!

what did dad do that bug you , like eating every bit of the apple stem and all

Some of the things Ill miss most about dad will be his odd bits, odd to me any way does anyone want to share some quirky Ray stuff?

Things

This is sorta random but I thought I'd share.

There are things that I know he's touched.
And there is fierce protection there as if I can hold it forever and it won't let him go.
Or other traces - a clip of video, a bit of cassette tape, a favored song of his I hope I'll never forget.
I thought for a moment I'd misplaced the last video I have of him (June 07) and I cannot describe the panic that flew through me... like he was dying again.
How many small ways is there to hold him here? Of course there is the surest thing of all - his blood and spirit coursing through me, but I don't always have the confidence in that compared to these other small things - like a pair of his old pants he gave me last summer. I like to wear them but then I get a worry like... what if I wear them out? Will they go away too and what does that mean? Will he go further away when the things are gone too, if I don't cling tightly enough or exercise enough care?

Anvil's free verse for grampa ray

From large blistering deserts
to large plains of artic tundra
even tropical seas roamed he
an adventure always to be had
to the very end.

Live like you were dying

A couple weeks ago the thing that was really bothering me was the fact that Dad thought and behaved as though he had years left to live when he really only had months. I understand that we all had to have faith that he would beat the cancer, none more so then he. But I wondered how he would have spent those 9 months if he knew they were all he had. The song that kept running through my head was "Live like you were dying". As I listened to the lyrics I realised that dad was always living the way the man in the song described. I don't want to type all the lyrics but the highlights are ...oh heck I hope you have time to listen to the song because I don't have time to type all I wanted to . I like watching the Lion King better than Time Mcgraw so here you go. Basically I think dad was reading the good book , being a good friend, climbing mountians, watching eagles, giving forgiveness, being a good husband and a heap of other stuff everyday, unlike the character in this song who started living that way only when he thought he was going to die.

thank you Allen and Lisa for the fox song

Yesterday Lisa called and her son played one of dads favorite songs for me. It was a nice surprise from Arkansas and well done the song was something about the fox and the hen house . If any of you cousins want to start blogen it would be welcome,and nice hear from you. You could show your parents how while your at it, get er done;)


up an adem

4FORE4

That's right, I make boys lots of boys then I turn them into men. Would of loved a little girl but I make the boys . Ultrasound today and it's a boy. It was one wierd, or strange, or I dont know how to say it, moment telling dad I was going to give him another grandchild days before he died. Knowing he was going to move on, some how hoping it would ease his passing having yet another grandchild to carry his seed on. His legacy flows through our bodies ,his will through our minds, his love in our hearts. God be praised. I do love my boys, thank you pop