It sucks Ive been missing dad more lately seeing him here and there . The Robin is still around the house a lot, still all alone singing and a looking. Dad never seemed to worry about us kids,I remember getting lost for what seemed like for hours at a big fair only to have dad find me and give me a big hug. We would always do these reckless things like the rock quarry in Clinton Con. I'm not sure about it but it seemed like we would jump 50 feet or more ,only to climb up the cliff walls to jump again.He taught us how to dive with out getting hurt. A Friend of mine lost his 18 year old son a week ago. Pat was my Friend too a great kid who had no fear . Pat was out riding in the mountains and went off a cliff by accident he fell 600 feet , 4 seconds or so , into some rocks . It would seem I have some thing to be grateful for after all this father's day. The only thing that could be harder than dad dieing so soon would be to lose one of my boys before I go.
I hope every one is doing well Adem
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Dad has been haunting me too Adem. I hate to say it but lately grieving has felt a bit like being forced to eat a big plate of something that might be nutritious but I've got no stomach for. Eat your vegetables.. and there it sits a giant pile of steamed turnips that grows in your head with each passing minute that you don't eat it and you know your gonna have to...
Went on a hike to day with Brynn. The last time I was there it was hiking with Dad on a spring day like today.. but a bit warmer. He was at peace that day. Climbing mountains, throwing snow balls at his grandkids, and sledding down a slope laughing with them. And he sat quietly marveling at God's creation too. So I have to say I cried a few times when Brynn was off trying to spot ground squirles or finding a beautiful flower. I felt sort of guilty.. why couldn't I just be there with my daughter in that beautiful place instead of stuck in the past sneaking a cry or two when I should have been just reveling in the day with her.
Yep - it sucks.
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