Wish you were here...

sigh two / too

A song came on the radio yesterday. The one that Aidan put on the DVD he made for his grandpa. It made me cry all over again. I just wish there had been more time to spend with him and that my children could have gotten to know him better. Aidan was in the car with me and I thanked him again for making that movie and I asked him how he felt about Grandpa and he said he was a bit sad and that he wished he had lived closer to us. I didn't say it, but I almost reminded him that now Grandpa lives right in our heart and so when we miss him we have to look inside for the best of him that we bear and share on our journey through our own lives.

:::sigh:::

Big check today from the settlement.
It's extremely bittersweet....

It'll pay for my Master's which is a huge weight off my chest- but I would give ANYTHING to just have had him here a little bit longer. Screw the $$, it'll never make up for the time we've lost. :(


Thank you, Dad. ::hugs::

Happy Birthday, Dad :)

These are pics I took in October '07, right around his Birthday.
This is one of my absolute favorites since it reminds me of quintessential Dad- the explorer. :)

This one cracked me up because it make it look like his hair was a big ray of light :D (sorta like a halo). He got a pretty big kick out of it too. hehehe

I miss you Daddy!

The leaves are turning...

Today I really wish I could talk to you dad. tell you about things, ask you about things. maybe laugh about things. give me some perspective. I miss you so much.
your darling daughter

That's my dad...

This post is not what you are thinking it will be. I will not be describing dad, as in "that's my dad!". Once upon a time, long before caller ID numerical or auditory, I used to be able to tell if it was dad calling. Not everytime but often times when he called I knew before I picked up it was him. It used to creep out my boyfriend at the time..."ring", "that's my dad".... "hi dad". How did you know?. Usually I knew before the phone rang that he would be calling soon. Then I had a mess of kids to distract me and dad and I had a kind of understanding that we would speak on Sunday afternoons so the second sense went away and that odd telephone voice saying BOKEMUN RAYmund took it's place. Well a few days ago the phone rang in the morning and I thought "it's dad" for the first time in ages. Of course it wasn't, it was probably a telemarketer. I don't know why I am even telling anybody about it except it was a very sweet 2 seconds in my life post Ray. I have also been giving a lot of thought lately to how I can enrich people's lives around me the way dad enriched peoples lives around him. Even when he just gave a big encouraging smile or a little hug it meant something. He inspired people and lifted hearts all around him... . ahhhhhhhhhhh those are big shoes. Robert the blog has been invaluable to me. I will write more on it later.

ps I can't find any of my digital photos of Dad!!!! the puppies were a place holder but I can't figure out how to delete them. Dad would have liked them anyway.

Miss ya, Dad!
::hugs::
:)