There was a time

This picture of dad reminds me of a time when he seemed so full of life. He must have been around 35 or younger. Life was good. Looking at him I realize how well he fit in in Connecticut. He could go anywhere and be welcomed, in the world. I can't understand how or why life threw so many trials his way. He was a good man, he deserved a good and long life with out all the crude putting it nicely. He looks like you sister swayco. Handsome, beautiful and so positive and to think the seeds of his fate had already been planted. I was still his son, not a child from another marriage, still the apple of his eye. I do like the memories from this time they are of happier man with out the baggage of a hard life. Don't get me wrong dad still shone brightly but it was a different light after we left Connecticut, for me anyways.

is that a slim jim or what?

I am still wishing one of me aunts or uncles will join in with tales of a younger Ray

Greedy Immoral Bastards

They took my Daddy away. Contracting to help our great nation by poisoning its loyal servants!? Ha! I want to grab their shirt collars and rage in their faces.
they made him suffer greatly and now that he is at peace - his life stolen from him
they make us suffer

happy father's day NOT

It sucks Ive been missing dad more lately seeing him here and there . The Robin is still around the house a lot, still all alone singing and a looking. Dad never seemed to worry about us kids,I remember getting lost for what seemed like for hours at a big fair only to have dad find me and give me a big hug. We would always do these reckless things like the rock quarry in Clinton Con. I'm not sure about it but it seemed like we would jump 50 feet or more ,only to climb up the cliff walls to jump again.He taught us how to dive with out getting hurt. A Friend of mine lost his 18 year old son a week ago. Pat was my Friend too a great kid who had no fear . Pat was out riding in the mountains and went off a cliff by accident he fell 600 feet , 4 seconds or so , into some rocks . It would seem I have some thing to be grateful for after all this father's day. The only thing that could be harder than dad dieing so soon would be to lose one of my boys before I go.

I hope every one is doing well Adem

Proud of His Lungs

As a child I was proud of my Daddy's lungs. They were special, extraordinary. I was certain that no other children's fathers had lungs like my Daddy's. I told you how we would walk out into the ocean. He would also take me underwater on his back and swim about until my lungs felt they would explode for want of fresh air then at my signal he would take me up to the surface... but sometimes he would not even come up for a breath and down we'd go again!

Most impressive though... what I was most proud of was a special feat he could do better than any of the other sailors and submariners in his unit. While we were on base in Hawaii, we would drive by or walk by this huge tower that looked like a grain silo I would look up to the top of it squinting into the bright sky with my child's eyes and be amazed at how tall it was. The first time we passed it he pointed it out and told me what the dive tower was for. Inside the tower which was more than a hundred feet high was water. Outside there were stairs and special doors - air locks) that could let a person enter the water at a certain depth. The Navy used this to train sailors to make an ascent from the deep. He would go in there and take a bunch of deep breaths then an assistant would release him from way down at the bottom of that tower and he'd have to hold his breath patiently and swim and float his way all the way to the surface. Wow! What a magical thing... and he did it better than any of the other sailors. He told me how you had to do this thing with your nose to equalize pressure in your ears on the way to the surface. A scuba diver would be going along side just for safety to offer air or other assistance but my Daddy and his amazing lungs never needed help.

I thought about this at the end when his amazing lungs fought so hard... just would not stop - kept working. I can't tell you the bitter irony I felt as I watched my Dad drown in his bed. Because I think that is what killed him in the very end. His remaining lung filled up with fluid - you could hear it. I think that fact as much as any other just galled me in his time of dying. I was so proud of my Daddy's lungs - and I know he was too.

He was a man of great spirit. Inspiration. Did you know that one of the definitions of "inspiration" is essentially to take air (spirit) into ones lungs? I guess if we continue to be inspired about the best of Ray's character my Daddy's lungs will still be working.

Dad's new favorite radio station...

Well most of you know that Dad was a big fan of the likes of Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, John Denver, etc. Country music, folk music, songs and ballads on a human scale. Oh yeah.. Harry Chapen too.. ah the old cat's in the cradle song.
But a new favorite?
Well I'm going out on a limb here.
Psychology folks like to say that as we get older we get in touch with the other side of our gender... and you can't get much older than dead I reckon so maybe Dad would start to appreciate female vocalists more now. That and as I watched one of Dad's all time favorite movies (O' Brother where for art thou) with him I remember that one thing he enjoyed about it was the music. And that featured Alison Kraus among a talented cast of other musicians.
I can't help but think he'd like this custom radio station I've made. Click on 'er and see what you think.


Maybe I'll have to make a Johnny Cash etc radio station for him too. I dearly miss him, wish I could be driving down the road listening to tunes with him or singing harmony with he and his brother Paul.
Listen to your heart's content or for your heart's contents..

water melon

I got a water melon for Adems graduation on Thursday .It was small more like a Honey due than a watter melon but still it reminded me of dad.His belly was as cool as it got water melon belly is what I thought. He was all ways a produce snob we not paying more then 5cents a ld for the very best as we would drive east to west from stand to stand . He could pick em cant remember a bad melon dad picked,then came the spiting and pitching for distance with the seeds. Ive got to be more fun for my kids

dads visit

when we went down to D C two years ago dad came over to visit with his latest grandson me and Melissa. Well of course we had to do alot of walking and one day on the mall a robin was following us from dirt patch to dirt patch as we walked the sidewalk.  I smiled and told dad I had gotten that male robin worked up and he was trying to call me out.  Dad insisted the robin was just on a worm hunt and it had nothing to do with me.  Well the bird kept flying to the next dirt patch clawing the dirt up and staring me down chirping away (about 16 years back I went down to show dad his first grandchild Adem and we discoverd a white robin in his back yard to debate about)this went on for about 10 minutes and was a lot of fun watching and debating the birds behavior.

Well are Aunt Joehanna was telling me of how she gets a visit from time to time from her dad in the form of a blue bird and to be on the look out because Raymound will be able to drop in and say hi from time to time to me .

there I was four days ago on the computer wasting time kind of looking up new wood boilers when I hear a knock on the window, I look and no one is around.  I go back to wasting time a thump a louder knock. Well I know it's a bird and I open the window to see if it will fly in the room. The next thing I know there's the sound of a landing bird.  I look it's gone.  I go back to wasting time here he comes again this time he starts chirping callin me out, stop wasting time, I look and he's gone before I can set an eye on him.

I got up and turn off the computer and went for a walk with my new friend the robin flying just ahead of me along are road chirping and a scratch'n,  telling me what's what.